Suffocating Trends: Oxygen Bars and Drinks
                              Don't 
                                get me wrong.  I like oxygen.  I breathe 
                                in my share every day.  Nevertheless I remain 
                                skeptical of new products designed to put more 
                                oxygen into my body.  Marketers of oxygenated 
                                bottled water and oxygen bars are breathing down 
                                my neck.
                              Actor 
                                and noted hemp enthusiast Woody Harrelson opened 
                                an oxygen bar in Hollywood a few years ago, where 
                                you pay a premium to breathe in the good stuff.  
                                I know what you're thinking:  "Woody 
                                Harrelson! I loved him as a bald-headed mass-murderer 
                                in 'Natural Born Killers.' Surely he knows a thing 
                                or two about my respiratory system."  
                                
                              Well, 
                                believe it or not, Woody might be a little off 
                                this time.
                              Ludicrous 
                                idea 
                                The notion that we need extra oxygen is ludicrous.  
                                The human body has adapted quite well to this 
                                lower atmosphere of ours that is roughly 21 percent 
                                oxygen, 78 percent nitrogen and 1 percent trace 
                                gases.  Blood cells, on exiting the lungs, 
                                are nearly saturated with about 97 percent oxygen 
                                bound molecularly to hemoglobin. Getting more 
                                oxygen serves no purpose.  In fact, it's 
                                a bad thing.
                              Deep 
                                in the lungs, tiny and fragile sacs called alveoli 
                                are the site where inhaled oxygen enters the bloodstream 
                                and carbon dioxide leaves to be exhaled.  
                                With a surplus of oxygen in the lungs, the carbon 
                                dioxide can't leave the body.  Worse, the 
                                build up of oxygen in the lungs can collapse the 
                                alveoli and cause permanent lung damage.  
                                Adults with emphysema, chronic asthma or chronic 
                                bronchitis, in particular, will stop breathing 
                                if they inhale pure oxygen for too long.  
                                Premature babies, given extra oxygen because their 
                                lungs aren't sufficiently mature to transfer oxygen 
                                into the blood, can go blind if the concentration 
                                gets too high, a malady called retinopathy of 
                                prematurity; that's likely what happened to Stevie 
                                Wonder. 
                              Also, 
                                oxygen may be what ultimately kills you, rusting 
                                your body from the inside in a process called 
                                oxidation and free-radical production.  Breathing 
                                pure oxygen creates an abundance of free radicals.
                              Unfortunately 
                                the world of alternative medicine has painted 
                                a scenario in which the human body is oxygen-deprived.  
                                More oxygen will remove toxins and even cure cancer, 
                                many in this community argue.  This is a 
                                persuasive argument in this age of industrial 
                                pollution, but this goes against basic biology.  
                                
                              Oxygen 
                                doesn't cure; and we aren't lacking any.
                              Mall 
                                science
                                Oxygen bars are now popping up in shopping malls.  
                                For the past five years they have been common 
                                in trendy clubs in big cities that attract young 
                                people hoping to throw away money as quickly as 
                                possible.  For a few dollars per minute, 
                                you can breathe in pure oxygen through a mask 
                                or tubes, for that oh-so-sexy emphysema-sufferer 
                                look.  Sometimes the oxygen is flavored. 
                                O2 enthusiasts report clearer thoughts, more energy 
                                and other subjective stuff that you can't measure.  
                                Then they get drunk.
                              Oxygenated 
                                water, available in bottled water aisles everywhere, 
                                is cheaper but equally as dumb.  
                              Aside 
                                from the O part in H2O, ordinary water has about 
                                0.5 percent dissolved oxygen gas.  This is 
                                what fish filter through their gills.  Oxygenated 
                                water can carry as much as 5 percent oxygen.  
                                Now, if we assume that humans absorb oxygen efficiently 
                                through their gut, which they don't, and if the 
                                dissolved oxygen in the oxygenated water doesn't 
                                bubble into the air when you open the bottle and 
                                expose it to standard pressure, which it does, 
                                how much O2 are you getting?
                              The 
                                math is straightforward.   Most oxygenated 
                                drinks contain no more than 125 mg/liter; air 
                                contains about 250 mg/liter.  (Although air 
                                is about 20 percent oxygen and the oxygenated 
                                water is 5 percent dissolved oxygen, the density 
                                is different, so this isn't quite 4:1.)  
                                Each minute we inhale about 12 times and breathe 
                                in about 4 liters of air.  So you need to 
                                drink two liters of oxygenated water (at 125 mg/l) 
                                just to keep up with three good breaths (about 
                                a liter of air).
                              At 
                                a dollar a bottle, you might want to reconsider 
                                drinking your oxygen.  After all, the air 
                                is free ... well, except at Woody's place.